Thursday, March 1, 2012

New Normal

If there are two words I am tired of hearing used together they are "new normal".  Over and over (and over and over and over) in the cancer community you hear people speaking of getting used to the "new normal".  Let me tell you about what is supposed to be considered "normal" for me now that I am supposed to accept and get used to;
  • Severe numbness and tingling in my arms and legs that has been present and not let up since February 2011.
  • Frequent headaches of varying degrees.
  • A blind spot to my right due to losing the vision in the lower right quadrant of both eyes.
  • Walking into stuff on my right side due to said blind spot.
  • Blurry vision that varies in degree of severity day to day.
  • Having my right testicle discarded with the trash.
  • 22 residual tumor masses in my lungs.
  • Having to answer "no, I was not a smoker" in regards to those 22 tumors.
  • Seizures and losing my right to drive for six months.
  • Re-growing a liver with the 10% of my original liver they were able to keep.
  • A 9" scar down the center of my chest/abdomen.
  • A 12 1/2" scar on the back of my head.
  • 6 titanium brackets holding a major portion of my skull in place.
  • Short term memory loss.
  • Fatigue.
  • Major losses in strength/endurance.
  • Short term memory loss. (Did I mention that?)
  • Having people tell me I could have avoided cancer if I had only eaten/not eaten "_____" or done/not done "_____".
  • Balance issues.
  • Cognition issues.
I guess there is a plus side though.  I can rant and rave and complain all I want and if anyone complains about it all I have to say is "sorry, it's my 'new normal', you'll get used to it."


  1. These 2 statements make me FURIOUS for others:

    "no, I was not a smoker" - because it seems so UNFAIR, that you do everything right in that department and yet....

    Having people tell me I could have avoided cancer if I had only eaten/not eaten "_____" or done/not done "_____". - if it was THAT easy....

    Keep on, keepin on, Brian.

  2. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, would you mind emailing me when you get a chance?