...a place for me to share thoughts, ideas, questions, answers and rants while I take my cancer journey.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Attitude is Everything
I refuse to lay down.
I will not throw in the towel.
I am not taking my ball and going home.
I will not quit.
Cancer has been one of the most influential teachers I have had in my life. The greatest lesson I have learned is that attitude is everything. If I say "I'm going to have a bad day today" I will most certainly have a bad day. If I let myself believe I am too tired to get off the couch my head will stay on the pillow and my feet will never touch the floor.
A month ago I got dropped by my cycling group when we reached the fast section on the route and I had to fight to catch back up to them and finish the ride. A day ago I got out alone on a breakaway at the same section and they had to chase me down and pull me back. I do not mention this to be boastful (truth be told, they did catch me, but I relished the period I was in the lead), I use this to remind myself to never quit, to not stop trying, to keep reminding cancer who is in charge. Attitude is everything.
When I lost my hair I embraced not having to shave or get haircuts. When chemotherapy robbed me of my palate I welcomed the opportunity to try new foods and flavor combinations. In a few weeks it will be time for surgery and I know it is going to knock me down. But when surgery knocks me down, I will get back up, come back stronger and dare cancer to try and push me down again.
I refuse to simply exist. Life is meant to be lived, that is my attitude.